HELP! I’M OUT OF COFFEE AND GOING TO THE STORE WOULD MEAN GETTING OUT OF MY PAJAMAS.
Writer: n. one who writes.
Author: n. one who writes books.
Novelist: n. a semiautonomous, finicky machine used to distill an exact mixture of coffee, toast, tea, heartbreak, triumph, wine, whisky, companionship, solitude, and ergonomic keyboards into fictional works longer that 6 x 10^4 words. If the input of coffee, toast, tea, etc. is out of the proportion to the slightest degree, a novelist is subject to inefficiency, prolixity, stomach aches, melodrama, and bachelorhood.
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