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The Happiest (possible) V-Day to You!

I don’t know about you, but when I think about Romantic Love I think about one or several early Christian martyrs with little or nebulous historical record but surrounded by semi-morbid stories of an unjust religious imprisonment, passionate letters handwritten while incarcerated to an undetermined someone else, followed by a public beheading. Oh and cutout-paper hearts, chocolate, doves, and frilly underwear. They all run together so naturally. Especially the doves and the frilly underwear. I mean, all that cooing, they’re happy about something, you know?

Oh, and the Hallmark™ cards sound nice, but screw it. Those things aren’t coming from a positive place for like anybody, man. Try your luck with construction paper, some scissors, a glue stick, and a pen. Even if you produce something that looks like Cupid’s vomit, you’ll come out a cut above that corporate stuff. Seriously.

And for those out there who don’t have someone to give their earnest yet charmingly-inept creations to, or for those who could give said votives to someone if only that someone weren’t…oh, I don’t know…off in the hinterlands of South America doing something selfish like studying ways of predicting and preventing starvation in children…not that I have any experience with that exact situation, or anything…it’s just like, a hypothetical…anyway, you people can send the cards to me. I love you too, man.

(Cartoon credit: find the original ‘Imposer Heart’ here.)

UPDATE

Late in the day Valentine from my dear friends N & M: You *have* to watch the first 10 seconds.